A vulnerable and rage-fueled pop anthem for the modern day feminist.
In 2018 I broke up with the pill. It was a 9 year relationship. Following that decision to leave hormonal birth control behind, I faced a cascade of issues that forced me to take a deeper look at my health and my life.
There’s a lot of information I wish my doctors had shared with me when it came to the pill and my overall health:
That it wasn’t regulating my cycle, it was shutting it down. That it could cause nutrient deficiencies and that’s likely why I was often sick. That my liver and gut health could be disrupted. That ovulation (which I missed out on for almost a decade) supports brain health. That it can affect future fertility outcomes. That it can alter the type of person you are attracted to. That it can increase your likelihood for depression and even certain cancers. That my naturally cycling body can only get pregnant approximately 6 days of the cycle. And so. much. more.
[For further information and resources please check out the work of: Dr. Jolene Brighten, Nicole Jardim, Lisa Hendrickson-Jack and Dr. Sarah E. Hill]
During the busiest time of my life, the pill afforded me a ton of freedom via pain free periods and zero pregnancies. For this I am truly grateful. That said, it did come at a cost. Underneath the bandaid of the birth control pill, my health issues were not being addressed and they were worsening.
I want to be clear: I am not anti pill. I am pro informed consent.
This song is for anyone who has ever felt dismissed, disrespected or even betrayed by their health care provider (or perhaps rather the patriarchal healthcare system that got us here in the first place). It’s for any woman who has experienced reproductive health related pain that has been ignored or normalized.
On the other side of it all now, my hope for everyone - especially women and all menstruating people - is to experience the magic of body literacy and the power of taking healing into your own hands.
lyrics
Lyrics:
Nobody told me
All the ways I would change before I was done with you
I don't want this
I just want to go back to where I started from
13 on the bathroom floor screaming
That house on the bend where life came crashing in
Nobody told me
Nobody told me
I'm tired of all my complaining
But I can't count all the ways I've been undone
They don't understand it
The way we carry pain around with us
And I thank you for the years I felt ok
But we were doing a masquerade
And I'd like to get to know myself without you there
Nobody told me
(There is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(Body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
Nobody told me
(There is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(Body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
Well I swear I'll find the remedy
To get back to myself
And I'll try to light the way a bit
For her, if nothing else
Nobody told me
Did anybody tell you?
Cus nobody told me
I guess I'll figure it out for myself
Nobody told me
(there is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
Nobody told me
(There is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(Body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
Nobody told me
(There is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(Body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
Nobody told me
(There is truth in every season, it could be the way you dreamed it)
Nobody told me
(Body talking for a reason, listen and the moon will lead you)
credits
released July 16, 2021
Produced and mixed by Tiger Darrow
Additional production & engineering by Anthony Farina
Mastered by Wil Farr
Album art by Natalia Thomas
Hillary Capps is a Brooklyn based alternative pop singer songwriter.
"Hauntingly
Melodic" - Impose Magazine
"Releasing in four parts in tandem with the four lunar cycles (new, waxing, full, and waning) and over the course of the year’s first five months, the tracks themselves slowly illuminate Capps’ penchant for lush indie pop and introspective lyricism" - The Deli Magazine...more
Chamber pop with lyrics that are alternately wry and confessional, Oropendola creates whole worlds built on purposeful keyboard melodies. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 2, 2023
Henry Terepka (as Henry Grant), also of the psych-pop group Zula, moves into smooth sophisti-pop territory as he steps out solo. Bandcamp New & Notable Feb 2, 2021
The Perth dream-poppers energize their enigmatic art-pop with cinematic string samples and churning, stadium-sized choruses. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 15, 2020
